Friday, October 19, 2007

Got a Buck? Go Elsewhere

Throughout my many years in the publishing and advertising fields, I've learned and accepted this simple fact: clients and advertisers love to idiot-proof the hell out of their advertisements. "If we don't put the price 10 times bigger than the rest of the type, they'll think it's free"; "If we don't put our name and phone number 15 different places, they won't know who to call..."; "More color means more sales, add more color!" So it really cracks me up when I see marketing that completely abandons this concept. Case in point: I came across a store in a strip mall yesterday whose name pretty much said it all: "Things Over $1.00". Yes, that was the name of the store; it was not just a sign in the window, it was not in front of a single aisle; you have Target, you have Best Buy, and you have Things Over $1.00. Just the title alone made my eyes roll in astonishment, wondering what chimp got paid millions of dollars for that genius bit of marketing. But it's the implication that really gets me. Things over $1. They sell things that cost more than a dollar. Doesn't really leave much out, does it? I mean, does that imply that I can go in there and buy, say, a phone, or a pool, or a welcome mat, or a motorcycle, or a beret, or an air conditioner, or a couch, or a suit, or a python, or a calendar, or a shovel, or a hamburger, or a set of speakers? Last I checked these things all cost more than a dollar, so hypothetically I should be able to find any one of these items there. What am I supposed to expect to buy when walking into this store?

Finally, a true one-stop shopping experience



I mean, I get it. I know what they're trying to do. They're in the same field as those "99¢ Stores" and "Under $1" places. But there are two flaws in their strategy: First off, The whole appeal of a "99¢ store" is just that: everything is 99 cents. You can go in with a few bucks and leave with several things. It's almost like a garage sale, without worrying about whose feet those nailclippers touched last. What exactly is the appeal of a store that touts everything in their store as costing "over a dollar"? Sure it could mean some things are, like, $1.09, but it also means some might be $2.09, or $4.99, or $9.99. At that point they're really no better than any other store that sells low-end crap, so why bother?
The second point is simply this: it's a grim reminder of today's economic environment. Over at the Thymenage blog, Steve wrote about a similar phenomenon having to do with gumball machines and the inflation from 10 cents to 25 cents to now up to 50 cents plus, all for the same crap you got 15 years ago. Click here to read. This is similar to the trend we're seeing here: first the "Under $1" store, then the "99¢" Store, now the "Over $1" Store. I for one am putting my foot down here and now; I refuse to shop at any crappy merchandise establishment selling their cheap sub-standard goods for anything over a dollar! Join me, and we'll ensure a future free of overpriced knick-knacks and clothes hangars, knock-off batteries and plastic tools.

3 comments:

rassmguy said...

Paul, while all of this is amusing on your part and brilliantly stupid on their part, you overlook the REAL question here...do they sell under-a-buck items at an inflated price? Can I go there and buy, for instance, a dented box of Arm & Hammer baking soda, a pair of flip-flops, a 3-foot roll of wrapping paper, a package of cotton balls, a paper-thin spatula and a children's army-soldier toy labeled "Children's Army-Soldier Toy" whose arms don't move, for more than a buck apiece, or do I have to go to the 99-cent store for them?

Steve said...

[[[ Throughout my many years in the publishing and advertising fields, I've learned and accepted this simple fact: clients and advertisers love to idiot-proof the hell out of their advertisements. "If we don't put the price 10 times bigger than the rest of the type, they'll think it's free"; ]]]]

Yes! As I, too, work in "publishing and advertising," one might say, I can totally relate. And, dude, you're lucky you're pretty much all print, because the clients become even more crazy with the web, since they are always worried that people aren't Internet savvy and won't know how to do something on their site. If I were designing your blog, this is a conversation that might go down, starting with the client speaking:

"What if someone wants to read an old blog from last year on Encyclopedia Giachettica?"

"Well, you've got all your articles in 'Archives' right there on the right hand side of the screen. See? Archives: September 2005, October 2005, every month right up until the present."

"Yeah, but they may not know that."

"Well, it's...it is 1/3 of the screen, and it clearly is labeled 'archives' with standard web-compliant underlined hyper-linked dates under each one."

"Yeah, but...I think you should put every article on the home page...This way they no where to find it. But no scrolling! People don't know to scroll and if they don't see all the articles, they will miss them."

Dude, it's bad in print, but it's worse with web, because you can't control everyone's experience.

[[[[ Case in point: I came across a store in a strip mall yesterday whose name pretty much said it all: "Things Over $1.00". Yes, that was the name of the store ]]]]

Yes, that's quite surreal. If you had not shown the picture, I wouldn't quite be able to fully believe this. It's so ridiculous that I still sort of don't believe it. This is a real store you passed on Long Island, and not something that you found on the Internet? Where was it?

[[[[ First off, The whole appeal of a "99¢ store" is just that: everything is 99 cents. ]]]

Yes, and I have a problem related to this, too. It was going to be a blog on my site, but I will, instead, talk about it here.

I saw one of those dollar stores the other day and it had signs in the window that said stuff like, "7 foot Christmas Trees: $5.99" and "24 Pack Bottled Water: $4.99"

At the risk of sounding like a junior high text messenger: WTF?! This is the f**king "Dollar King!" The store is based on the idea that everything in it costs "one dollar." It's not the DollarS King, where everything costs one dollar or some things cost more dollars. After all, isn't that basically every other frieken' store in existence?

Yes, I, too understand what they're going for. "Hey, 99.99% of what's in this store is a dollar, and that's our schtick, but if we can still give you a great deal on some piece of crap (but we can't possibly sell it for a dollar without losing our shirts), then we can break that rule." But, you see, when that happens, it kills the integrity of the "dollar code." If you can break it for one thing, then why not everything? Next week those Hello Kitty combs leftover from 1986 are going to have to be $1.09 or something.

You're either a dollar store COMPLETELY, or you're not at all. You can't have it both ways. If you wanna sell crappy, low-grade merchandise but it costs more than a dollar, then you need to change your name. Call yourselves K-Mart.

[[[[ Over at the Thymenage blog, Steve wrote about a similar phenomenon having to do with gumball machines and the inflation from 10 cents to 25 cents to now up to 50 cents plus, all for the same crap you got 15 years ago. ]]]]

Yes I did, and thanks for noticing. That's why I love this guy! Thanks for the plug!

Paul G. said...

[[[[This is a real store you passed on Long Island, and not something that you found on the Internet? Where was it?]]]]
Yep, I parked in it's lot on my way to Canine Corral up on route 110 in Huntington. Lucky enough I just happened to have my camera with me, although I have to admit the humorous thought of someone noticing me photographing the store and thinking I was some terrorist planning an attack or something did cross my mind, as if "Things Over $1.00" is a high profile Al-Qaeda target....

[[[[Yes, and I have a problem related to this, too. It was going to be a blog on my site, but I will, instead, talk about it here.]]]]
I have no problem you reiterating a topic I wrote about on your blog, since I'm SURE (heh heh) you can elaborate better on the topic that I can.

[[[[I saw one of those dollar stores the other day and it had signs in the window that said stuff like, "7 foot Christmas Trees: $5.99" and "24 Pack Bottled Water: $4.99"]]]]
You know, an old high school buddy and I used to have this running joke every time we'd pass by the dollar store... we'd envision ourselves walking into the store and asking the cashier how much everything was in the store, knowing full well it was a dollar.
"How much is this?"
"A dollar."
"How about this?"
"A dollar."
And this?"
"A DOLLAR"
How much is this?"
"A DOLLAR! Everything's a DOLLAR!"
"But how about this?
"IT'S A DOLLAR!"
"How much are these two things?
"TWO DOLLARS!!!"

Now, of course, that joke has no meaning, because you really DO have to ask how much things are in the dollar store...