Monday, January 21, 2008

"Bring Me Elmo's Head on a Platter!"

WARNING: GRUESOME CONTENT - For those with a weak stomach, click off this blog now. I cannot be responsible for any nightmares or breakdowns in mental stability that may ensue.

Unless your child is sadistic enough to demand this for their birthday, I strongly urge you to reconsider bringing them to Waldbaums to choose a cake for his/her next party. Strolling through the aisles of the supermarket while shopping (yes, I DO shop, and no, that's not the gruesome part), I unexpectedly happened across this hideous scene in the bakery department, a display more suitable for a Halloween wax museum or Horrorfest than a grocery store. I was appalled; Young children, innocently holding on to their mother's hand without a care in the world, should never have to be exposed to such horrors. Don't say I didn't warn you.


Marie Antoinette suffered a similar fate when suggesting cake.

What would possess any parent to purchase this abomination for their child? Forgetting the whole "it's freaking Elmo's HEAD on a platter" thing, it's not even a close resemblance of the muppet; in fact, it really does look like a decomposing head! Scary by any means. And of course we all know the birthday traditions about the birthday boy/girl and the cake.... "Hey, let's traumatize Jimmy some more by forcing him to make the first incision into Elmo's skull!"

I implore you, do not put your child through such agony. You'll pay for it in therapy for years.